Adopt a Value

Nothing is more stirring than a large group of committed people walking together for a common cause, and willing to lead by example.

Love as Thought is Truth.

Love as Action is Right Conduct.

Love as Understanding is Peace.

Love as Feeling is Non-violence.

-Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Knowingly or unknowingly, we base our lives on principles and values. As we collectively prepare to create awareness of these human values in our communities through the Walk, let us begin with ourselves first. As a discipline, let us make a conscious effort to start now or continue to put into practice one value in our daily lives. We will then truly be Walking or Leading by example.

How?

Each participant:

1. Identifies a value/sub-value you would like to adopt (consciously practice). See below for list of values and sub-values.

2. Performs actions to practice that value in your daily life.

3. Makes note of positive effects or changes that you, or others have observed in you as a result of Adopting this value.

Example:

1. Nonviolence

2. Make a conscious effort to not criticize my family members.

3. I have more love and good feeling with the family. There is more love and harmony at home.

During the Walk, each participant can wear a tag sharing his/her journey in the Adopt a Value program.

Quotations on Human Values

Peace:

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others. -Thomas Kempis

Right Action:

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way ... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions. -Aristotle

Love:

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. -Martin Luther King Jr.

Nonviolence:

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. -Mahatma Gandhi

Truth:

Truth never plays false roles of any kind, which is why people are so surprised when meeting it. Everyone must decide whether he wants the uncompromising truth or a counterfeit version of truth. Real wisdom consists of recommending the truth to yourself at every opportunity. -Vernon Howard

Stories & Group Activities on Human Values

Story 1: Happiness Comes from Giving by Frank Mihalic, SVD from The Millennium Stories

This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty; it had no meaning. So the counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors, and then said to the rich lady, "I'm going to ask Mary here to tell you how she found happiness. All I want you to do is listen."

So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story: "Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody... I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep; I couldn't eat; I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got it some milk, and it licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg, and for the first time in months, I smiled. Then I stopped to think; if helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something for people could make me happy. So the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed. Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy. Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do. I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

When she heard that, the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

Discussion Questions: Why do you think the old woman felt good after giving to others? How can we express giving to others in our daily lives at school, home or work? Is there anything you want to do (big or small) that will make a positive impact in your or someone else's life?

Story 2: Linda Biehl & Easy Nofemela

On August 25 1993, Amy Biehl, an American Fulbright scholar working in South Africa against apartheid, was beaten and stabbed to death in a black township near Cape Town. In 1998 the four youths convicted of her murder were granted amnesty by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) after serving five years of their sentence - a decision that was supported by Amy's parents. Easy Nofemela and Ntobeko Peni, two of the convicted men, now work for the Amy Biehl Foundation Trust in Cape Town, a charity which dedicates its work to putting up barriers against violence. Since Peter Biehl's sudden death in 2002, Linda still regularly returns to Cape Town to carry on her work with the Foundation.

Linda:

When we heard the terrible news about Amy the whole family was devastated, but at the same time we wanted to understand the circumstances surrounding her death. Soon afterwards we left for Cape Town.

We took our strength in handling the situation directly from Amy. She was intensely involved in South African politics and even though the violence leading up to free elections had caused her death, we didn't want to say anything negative about South Africa's journey to democracy. Therefore, in 1998, when the four men convicted of her murder applied for amnesty, we did not oppose it. At the amnesty hearing we shook hands with the families of the perpetrators. Peter spoke for both of us when he quoted from an editorial Amy had written for the Cape Times: 'the most important vehicle of reconciliation is open and honest dialogue,' he said. 'We are here to reconcile a human life which was taken without an opportunity for dialogue. When we are finished with this process we must move forward with linked arms.' A year after Easy and Ntobeko were released from prison, an anthropologist who was interviewing them sent us a message to say they'd like to meet with us. They were running a youth club in Guguletu Township where Amy had been killed and wanted to show us their work.

We wanted to meet them. It wasn't about pity or blame, but about understanding. We wanted to know what it would take to make things better. Some time later we took them out to dinner. We talked about their lives and our lives, but we didn't ask about the past. We were all looking to the future.

I've grown fond of these boys. I enjoy them. They're like my own kids. It may sound strange, but I tend to think there's a little bit of Amy's spirit in them. Some people think we are supporting criminals, but the Foundation that we started in her name is all about preventing crime among youth.

I have come to believe passionately in restorative justice. It's what Desmond Tutu calls 'ubuntu': to choose to forgive rather than demand retribution, a belief that 'my humanity is inextricably caught up in yours.'

I can't look at myself as a victim - it diminishes me as a person. And Easy and Ntobeko don't see themselves as killers. They didn't set out to kill Amy Biehl. But Easy has told me that it's one thing to reconcile what happened as a political activist, quite another to reconcile it in your heart.

Easy:

When the anthropologist suggested bringing the Biehls to meet me my mind was racing. This was a big challenge. I'd grown up being taught never to trust a white person, and I didn't know what to make of them. Yet I thought that if I could meet them face to face, then perhaps they might see that I was sorry. 'Yes, bring them,' I said.

The next day Peter came to Guguletu. I was very nervous, but my first thought was to protect him because there was violence outside. I took him inside my home and told him about the youth club. He was very interested and said Linda would love to see what me and Ntobeko were doing. The next day they came bringing us T-shirts and tickets for Robben Island. I remember Peter was very strong and Linda very shy.

Later we became involved in the Amy Biehl Foundation because they were having trouble in Guguletu where they ran a community baking project. Crime had become so bad in the township that drivers were getting shot at every day. We helped them by talking to the community.

Not until I met Linda and Peter Biehl did I understand that white people are human beings too. I was a member of APLA - the armed wing of the PAC. Our slogan was 'one settler, one bullet'. The first time I saw them on TV I hated them. I thought this was the strategy of the whites, to come to South Africa to call for capital punishment. But they didn't even mention wanting to hang us. I was very confused. They seemed to understand that the youth of the townships had carried this crisis - this fight for liberation - on their shoulders.

At first I didn't want to go to the TRC to give my testimony. I thought it was a sell-out, but then I read in the press that Linda and Peter had said that it was not up to them to forgive: it was up to the people in South Africa to learn to forgive each other. I decided to go and tell our story and show remorse. Amnesty wasn't my motivation. I just wanted to ask for forgiveness. I wanted to say in front of Linda and Peter, face to face, 'I am sorry, can you forgive me?' I wanted to be free in my mind and body. It must have been so painful for them to lose their daughter, but by coming to South Africa - not to speak of recrimination, but to speak of the pain of our struggle - they gave me back my freedom.

I am not a killer, I have never thought of myself as such, but I will never belong to a political organization again because such organizations dictate your thoughts and actions. I now passionately believe that things will only change through dialogue. People are shocked I work for the Amy Biehl Foundation Trust. I tell them that I work here because Peter and Linda came to South Africa to talk about forgiveness.

Peter was a lovely man. He kept us all happy. It was a great shock when he died. He would say to Ntobeko and me, 'I love you guys. Are you happy, guys?' He tried to avoid things that would upset us. He was like a grandfather to us.

Discussion Question: Read the story of the Biehl family in small groups. In addition to forgiveness, discuss the other values that are involved in the story. Think as a small group about the different scenarios that could have resulted from Amy's death. Discuss the merits of forgiveness as a strategy for human relations.

Group Activity: Implementing Human Values in Our Lives

Write 'Agree' and 'Disagree' on a piece of paper and tape them on the wall on different sides of the room. Participants should move towards the word (agree or disagree) when they hear the following statements read. Participants can stand in between if they are unsure.

Statement 1:

A young woman discovers Bill Gates' wallet lying on the street. It contains $1000. She decides to keep it and use the money for something good.

Statement 2:

A friend comes to you with a small writing assignment for a course he is taking; he has to generate some questions for discussion. He asks you to do the exercise for him. He says he wants to watch you do it just this once because he really doesn't know where to begin, and he doesn't understand the assignment. You do it because you are a nice person and want to help your friend out.

Statement 3:

Your boss wants to promote you. She comes into your office and starts talking badly about a co-worker. The co-worker has been having some personal problems (death in the family, sickness, etc.), and has not been able to cope with the workload. Your boss wants you to fire your co-worker since you are being promoted to being a director. You do it because that's just how things go in the world of work.

Activity Discussion Questions:

* What values came out in the scenarios mentioned earlier?

* What influenced the decision you made to move to where you did in the room?

* Did any of you change your mind? If so, why?

* What are alternative ways that these scenarios could have been resolved?

* What other scenarios have you been in where you have had to consider your values in responding?

Have fun and remember to enjoy the journey!